Movies

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I’ve watched c-beams glitter in the darkness near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die.”

Rutger Hauer’s last words as Roy Batty in Blade Runner are the high water mark of gold-plated movie bombast – near-gibberish delivered with such untouchable conviction that men have been known to wait a lifetime to deliver these lines in any situation they consider remotely appropriate. You just know the people who made Hobo With A Shotgun had them in mind when they placed Hauer, as the titular hobo, in front of a bunch of newborns in a maternity ward, and had him make a speech about how life is cruel and will beat you down but maybe, just maybe, you might end up as, you know, a hobo. With a shotgun. Like him.

It’s a long way from doves flying into the rainy night air on the roof of the Bradbury Hotel but, hey, we don’t make movies like that anymore, do we?

Jason Eisener’s film began as a trailer in Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse project, the same ‘70s exploitation movie love letter that produced last year’s Machete, the innovation this time around being that the Canadian government got to pay for a film where the heroine gets her throat sliced open with a hacksaw and the villain uses a homeless man as a piñata.

(For readers outside Canada, it has to be noted at this point that, unlike Hollywood, it’s government agencies, not movie studios, that ultimately produce films in this country. The result is taxpayer dollars used to make a film meant to pay tribute to movies that were once made with laundered mob money. Make your own wry aside here.)

Fans of the TV series Trailer Park Boys will get a thrill the moment they see Robb “Ricky” Wells dragged onscreen for the dubious honour of being entry one in the film’s body count; grindhouse cinema aficionados – and there are plenty out there – will happily tick off their checklist of exploitation movie musts: The hooker with a heart of gold played by an actress (Molly Dunsmore) far too pretty to be a streetwalker in the real world; the corrupt cops and their demonic chief of police; the evil sons of the crime boss villain, modeled here on Risky Business-era Tom Cruise; the frightened locals who turn on the heroic hobo; the polyester-scented nihilism that’s fermented deeply since it was poured out in the era of the oil crisis and Munich massacre.

Playing critic with a film like Hobo With A Shotgun is almost pointless, since it sets the bar so low from its point of inspiration that you’re forced to make up new criteria: Is the hobo using appropriate shotgun ammunition? Is that a reasonable splatter pattern for a head shot? Are the titles at the beginning and the credits at the end? The only fair shot you can make at the film is that it has a hard time taking itself seriously, and plays as parody probably more often than genre purists will likely appreciate.

In a little under one week from now, Paul will be out in North America, and as much as I love the duo of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, this is one film that you don’t need to see on opening night, unless you’re a nerd, at which point, go on and you can see a little green man that’s probably less alien than you (and trust me when I say I’m not judging, because I’m one row back snickering at the previews.)

Paul is the story of two British nerds, Graeme Willy (Pegg) and Clive Collings (Frost) who come to America for a comic book convention, rent an RV and plan a trip across the United States with plans to visit all the big alien hot spots on their way to Roswell, New Mexico.  Their trip takes a bit of a turn early on, when, fleeing from some fairly stereotypical hicks in a diner, they have a run-in with an alien.  Now, you’ve probably seen the trailer for this initial meeting: Graeme panics and demands to know if Paul plans to probe them; Clive faints.  From there, the audience is taken on a road trip that encounters a number of occasionally overdone stereotypes.  There’s the obligatory Jesus freak who sees Paul, panics and then has her mind opened by the little green man and ends up traveling with Frost and Pegg, there’s the Jesus freak’s dad (who is as nuts as her), the hicks, the oh so serious secret agent, the idiotic rookie agents and the mysterious female voice trying to get Paul back.

As much as some of the elements have been a little overdone — honestly, I’m getting bored with the eternal presence of the hicks in these films (the heartland must be filled with nothing but them) — there are some pretty entertaining twists.  Paul is less alien and less out of place than his traveling companions, he gave the world E.T., Close Encounters, the X-files and inspired all the little green men images personally.  Aside from being a small green smoker (and briefly, a small cowboy), Paul is fairly normal.  Sarcastic, foul-mouthed and headed home, he forces his friends to learn how to live, have fun, and in the case of the Jesus freak, how to swear properly.

As anyone would expect with a road trip (especially one including an alien and the men in black in pursuit), zany hi-jinks become the norm.  Yes, there are some genuinely cute moments as Paul makes his new friends jump between time zones at a state line, or when they are learning to dance in a campsite or when Paul introduces the little girl who found him to his friends, but all in all, the plot is fairly predictable, right down to healing scenes which one can only expect after the “bird incident”.

Despite being predictable, the film is worth a watch if you are in need of a lighthearted chuckle.  There are some really good lines, a couple of cringe worthy scenes (not bad scenes, you’ll simply feel really embarrassed for the characters and their predicament), and even a couple of nice fluffy nerd-romance moments.  Despite expecting a few gags, you’ll still laugh, things like the “bird” scene are just too weird to not laugh at.  Not to spoil it, but there’s a bit of an E.T. ending, and in the end, much like E.T. you’ll leave the theatre smiling.

As a whole, the film is less about the little green man, or close encounters of the probing kind, or even about the crazy road trip we all wish we could take with our mates just once, though really, everyone should do that before you’re too old to be idiots and get away with it.  It’s about just how out of depth and alien we can all be when taken from our natural habitat (be it a big city in England, a little town in New Mexico, or a comic book convention filled with Han Solos) and plunked into something outside our comfort zone, and just how exhilarating it can be doing something spectacularly insane to help out a friend.  Well, that and explaining the reality behind probes; no, they don’t need to, there’s not a lot to learn by doing it.

It’s a good thing that originality is so overrated – especially in Hollywood – otherwise it would be impossible to enjoy Battle: Los Angeles for what it is: A strictly by-the-book war film, with Audie Murphy fighting squidlike aliens instead of Godless Nazis or bloodthirsty Japanese.

Aaron Eckhart plays the Audie Murphy character – though to be fair, he’s more Richard Widmark in Halls of Montezuma – who we meet as the film begins, leading his men into battle against a sneak attack by an unseen enemy. The film backtracks 24 hours so we can glimpse the lead-up to an alien invasion, camouflaged amidst a sudden meteor shower. Since we’ve all seen this bit of stealthy extraterrestrial exposition many times by now, director Jonathan Liebesman has the good sense to run through it all at a clip.

We get to meet the Marines under Eckhart’s command, each of whom gets a character-setting vignette; one is getting married, one has a pregnant wife, another is mourning a brother killed in action. It’s the modern equivalent of the old WW2 movie GI squad, where one guy was an Italian from Brooklyn, another a gormless farm boy with wicked aim and a sweetheart back home, another a wisecracking Jew. The invading aliens get no such heartwarming backstory, which comes as something of a relief these days.

In no time, they’re in the thick of it, battling through the streets of Santa Monica with a group of hapless civilians in tow, fighting against the deadline of an imminent air strike that’s supposed to clear the Los Angeles beachfront of alien invaders, not to mention miles of high-priced real estate. Bridget Moynahan and Michelle Rodriguez join the action to tone down the camo-coated sausage party tone, and to provide a whiff of love interest for Eckhart’s weary warrior, neither of which gets past the first sniff, thankfully.

If it all sounds a bit War Of The Worlds meets Black Hawk Down, you have the idea. It’s also the single sentence tagline they probably used to sell the script, and if I could trademark the description in anticipation of future royalties from fellow critics, I’d have done it before you read this.

It’s also plain, as I stated up front, that there’s nothing original about Battle: Los Angeles, which isn’t necessarily a critical black mark. Lags in the action meant to air out the film’s scant emotional conflict deflate the rush from the apocalypse-on-a-sunny-day action scenes, and the dialogue is only a bit more serviceable than a food court lunch, but when it’s on the run and firing wildly, the film delivers like a top-drawer first person shooter. It’s no surprise that the videogame version will hit the shelves shortly.

Only the “alien autopsy” scene had me wishing the film was a bit more ambitious; as Eckhart and Moynihan root around a still-living ET’s innards to find out what kills it, the story had a chance to glance down the dimly-lit avenue of battlefield ethics, but simply wouldn’t go there.  There’s no point regretting wasted opportunities, as long as Hollywood is ruled by the maxim that imitation is the sincerest form of mastery, and that regardless of how well Battle: Los Angeles does at the box office, we’ll be fighting aliens on the beaches again, and sooner or later someone is bound to have a new idea.

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Rick McGinnis is a freelance writer, photographer and television panelist, as well as a special contributor to Strictly Pop. His work can be found at RickMcGinnis.com. He can be found Tweeting away as @RickMcGinnis.

On February 28th, Hollywood lost one of the greats of the golden era — Jane Russell. Born in the Midwest in 1921 as Ernestine Jane Geraldine

Russell, she became an iconic screen siren and pinup girl in the 1940s. While growing up in California, the only daughter of a well-to-do family, Jane was involved in music and drama. After her father passed away, she worked as a model and receptionist to help the family financially, and was able to send herself to drama school.

Jane was discovered by Howard Hughes in 1941 while working as a receptionist in his dentist’s office. He signed her to a 7-year contract and cast her in the role that would make her famous; that of Rio McDonald in The Outlaw. As the film was geared to show off Jane’s figure, it was tough getting it past the censorship board. The film was given a limited release in 1943 and, finally, a full release in 1946. Of this time, Jane said “They held up The Outlaw for five years. Howard Hughes had me doing publicity for it every day, five days a week for five years.” The publicity paid off and The Outlaw was a smash hit at the box office, which propelled Jane to stardom.

Due to Jane’s contract with Howard Hughes, her roles were limited. It seems that Hughes only wanted to cast her in roles that would allow her to show off her figure, giving her little chance to show off her acting ability. In 1953, she had her next great role, as Dorothy Shaw in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Along with Marilyn Monroe, Jane was able to show off her comedic side in this classic musical.

In her private life, Jane worked hard for the causes in which she believed. Adoption was a cause very close to Jane’s heart, and her own children (Tracy, Tommy and Buck) were adopted. Her organization, World Adoption International Fund, has placed 51,000 children with adoptive families. In addition, she worked for the passage of the Federal Orphan Adoption Amendment of 1953, which allowed children of American servicemen born overseas to be placed for adoption in the United States. Jane was also active in politics, as an outspoken Republican and member of America’s Future.

Leaving behind a legacy of philanthropy, the family has asked that donations be made in her name to either the Care Net Pregnancy and Resource Center of Santa Maria or the Court Appointed Special Advocates of Santa Barbara County.

Thanks to Steve Murray at the National Post for putting together this handy chart.

Released on DVD a few weeks ago is Red, the action-comedy flick starring Bruce Willis as Frank Moses, a retired CIA field operative who has an assassination team show up at his home one day to ‘retire’ him even further. Forced to act quick and fend for survival, Frank goes and reassembles his old team from the days in the agency — Joe (Morgan Freeman,) Marvin (John Malkovich) and Victoria (Helen Mirren) — along with his long distance love interest, Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker from WEEDS and The West Wing.) Opening with Frank wooing his pension services representative Sarah by repeatedly telephoning her with ‘issues’ regarding his pension checks, the retired agent quickly shows his seemingly flawless skills as he escapes the gunfire of a few dozen assassins and makes his way to Sarah’s hometown to begin their rather adventurous first date.

Red (an acronym for ‘Retired and Extremely Dangerous’) is rather impressive in that while it’s also showing that Frank, Joe, Marvin and Victoria still have all the skills — if not more — of their younger counterparts whilst in retirement, but it also shows that Willis, Freeman, Malkovich and Mirren still have it in them to take on heavy, stunt-filled action movies. It’s quite a contrast having seen Helen Mirren gracefully execute her role in The Queen to now seeing her wielding a machine gun in an elegant white dress. While he does play one of the younger retirees of the film, Willis still performs the action-packed part with the same oozing testosterone as one would have found in the Die Hard movies (although, there are a few more age jokes in this one.)

Deeper than the rather unbelievable — but exciting plotline — there is a subtle (and sometimes not to subtle) element of CIA/government conspiracies that some may enjoy throughout the film. This is further established in the DVD’s special features; one of the more interesting ones was a section called “CIA Exposed,” which featured six short narrated clips describing CIA screw-ups (some pretty funny ones too,) as well as some darker moments from the past of the agency that you might not have been familiar with.

In addition to the standard cocktail of special features — deleted scenes, interviews and a behind-the-scenes video — Red also features a rather interesting audio commentary not from the director or one of the actors, but from retired CIA field agent Robert Baer. If you’re going to invest in a DVD, you need to make sure you’re getting one packed with features as, let’s face it, you can only watch a movie so many times without wanting a little more out of it.

The only shortcoming on the Red DVD lies in the fact that when four elderly thespians are forced into high-speed action roles, a blooper reel is a necessity.

…then, not counting the animated stuff, you’re probably above the North American lifetime average of less than one nominee every year.  And with good reason.  Oscar nominated films are generally all the same, and in fact, Kate Winslet made a wonderful observation on Extras the same year that she won her Oscar: in order to win one, you have to make a film about Nazis or some sort of mental illness/handicap.  She made this comment not long before winning the Oscar for Best Actress in a film in which she played a Nazi, staying true to her comments.  This year, in classic form we’ve got contenders Black Swan (where the main character is insane), the Fighter (one of the main characters is a drug addict), Winter’s Bone (meth labs…) a few token notgonnahappens and then the one that is actually worth watching despite its token material: The King’s Speech.

Odds are good that most of the people reading this may have already seen this film as it’s been out for a while and it has been wildly popular.  I’ve resisted writing about it, ironically enough, because I don’t know how to say what needs to be said about it.  Every attempt to write on it has resulted in a written stutter that felt almost as difficult to overcome as the king’s impediment in the film.  However, as difficult as it is to say, something needs to be said about this film.  In light of its awards from the BAFTAs, the Toronto International People’s Choice, and the Golden Globes, The King’s Speech is sure to take home at least a few awards from the Academy, though, I would not place money on Best Picture (owing to the fact that it’s actually good, and the Oscars have already given away an award to a good film this century, so they’re covered until 2100).  It is a wholly fantastic film though.

Despite featuring one of the Oscar cliches, a handicap, The King’s Speech is inspiring, beautiful, and according to Queen Elizabeth II, quite accurate in is portrayal of Prince Albert’s struggle to overcome his stutter while at the same time being thrust onto the throne of Britain during one of the most tumultuous times in Britain’s recent history.  Following the abdication of the throne by his elder brother less than a year after their father’s death, and dealing with the looming threat of war with Germany, Prince Albert became King George VI, and was the man who would reign over the United Kingdom during the Second World War.  The King’s Speech is set in what is not exactly a bright period in our world’s history, but King George VI’s speech impediment and his struggle to come to terms with being the Head of State and his need for the honest friendship of Australian emigrant Lionel Logue will move you.

Opening with a speech that Prince Albert gave during the close of the Empire Exhibition in Wembley, you are immediately drawn into a world that is public, judgmental, and painfully lonely.  Having tried everything to deal with his stutter, Prince Albert has given up, and his wife Elizabeth is scraping the bottom of the barrel, where she finds a threadbare office and a cheerful Australian emigrant who states that he can cure her husband.  As Albert relies on the support of his wife and love of his daughters, he struggles to deal with the inevitability of his brother’s abdication, low public support and the looming threat of war.  Albert’s relationship with Logue is strained at first, as Logue insists on less than formal address when they have their “sessions”, referring to Albert as “Bertie” (a family nickname), and digs far beyond the prince’s comfort level to find the true root of his stutter.  Abuse at the hands of a nanny, painful splints to treat knock-knees, being punished into using his right hand despite being a lefty all come to the surface, Logue pushes the prince to confront his demons, stand up for himself and loudly take his oath to become king.

There are occasional comedic elements, one session reveals that “Bertie” never stutters when swearing, a fact discovered when Bertie is telling Logue off.  Bertie and Logue clash frequently as Logue uses unconventional methods to cure his patient, and after each battle of wills, they become closer and gain greater progress in curing the prince of his stutter.  Shouting vowel noises at walls, listening to music while reading aloud, singing instead of speaking and of course, swearing, are all among the therapies used to undo the stutter, while further digging into Bertie’s psyche find and eventually render ineffective the causes.  Confidence is crucial, and fluidity in speech is the goal, and it is heartwrenching to watch as Bertie struggles to become everything expected of him as the monarch and leader of the United Kingdom.  You can’t help but smile in the final moments as Sir Winston Churchill confides his own family secret to his king, and if you know your history, you can smile because you know the end result.  King George VI was a very good king, and a great leader of his people.

The film is beautiful, moving, and not just about overcoming a disability.  Most importantly, it’s about finding a steadfast friend in a very isolated world, something that I would argue we all could do with in our own little worlds today.

There really is no way that I can do this film justice in a review, except to say that it is well worth the money to watch in theatres while you still can or buy on DVD or Blu Ray (it comes out April 19).  It really will leave you at a loss for words. (Ironically).

As everyone knows, it’s Oscar season! After the big event on February 27th, people will soon forget who won what, who looked like a hot mess, and whose

speech went on waaay too long. What people will remember, however, is how awesome, or lame, your party was. Assuming you want your guests to come back next year, here are some tips.

First things first, you need to pick a theme. It can just be a regular party with sliders and beer but, hey, this is the Oscars. Maybe you want to pick a movie or a category and use that for your theme. Make your home an English pub for The King’s Speech, knock somebody’s chair out from under them for Inception, or don’t have any food at all in honor of Black Swan.

It doesn’t need to be over the top, and everything doesn’t need to match. A theme will help hold things together and will actually make your planning easier. If you want something that doesn’t fit the theme, just figure out a way to name it that will make it fit. The world is your oyster. Just pick something and go with it. Everybody loves Winter’s Boneless Buffalo Wings!

Once you’ve set the scene, the party itself has to be fun. A good ambiance won’t matter if you just sit staring at the television all night. So, you need games to keep things interesting. The traditional Oscar pool is always a good idea, but mix it up a little to keep things fresh. It doesn’t have to be just about who wins and who loses. Throw in some fresh categories. Will anybody trip? What will the hot new color be on the red carpet?

Turn it into bingo: squares for tears during an acceptance speech, somebody looks pissed they didn’t win (or looking too happy to lose). Somebody comments on the fact that Helen Mirren is hotter than women half her age? There’s a square for that! You could also turn this into a drinking game, but it will be a little harder to get to work on Monday morning.

An over/under is also an easy to run game that will still allow you to concentrate on the show. It’s easy and straightforward. What’s the over/under on how late will it run? How many musical numbers in the opening act? Tailor it for the things you and your guests are most likely to be watching for anyway.

The games are all about the prizes. You can have everybody pay into the pool, but you can also come up with fun and inexpensive things. Again, go with the theme and with the taste of your friends. You don’t have to break the bank to throw the best party of the year, and become the most coveted Oscar Party invitation of 2012.

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to see the new romantic comedy Just Go With It, starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. The movie opens with Danny Maccabee, a soon-to-be cardiologist overhearing a conversation in the next room from his bride-to-be on their wedding day revealing to her bridesmaids that she was pursuing an ongoing affair with a friend of Danny’s. Heartbroken, Danny makes his way to a local bar, where he learns that wearing a wedding ring may be the best tool available to men to pick up women.

Fast forward twenty years and Danny is now a rich plastic surgeon in Los Angeles, still, of course, pulling off the wedding ring fraud, much to the disgust of his divorced office manager Katherine Murphy (Aniston) (although, her two young children seemed to be quite amused by it.) Shortly in, Danny meets Palmer (Brooklyn Decker) at a party and begins to like the blond bombshell in more than an “I-want-to-sneak-out-of-her-bedroom-after-we-have-sex-tonight” way; and, all was going well until she found a wedding band in his pocket. Not wanting her to know how he decides to woo the ladies, he asks Katherine to pretend to be his wife. After burning through credit cards on the sunset strip to make her look “like a plastic surgeon’s wife,” the white lie quickly turns into a massive romantic conspiracy.

Filled with the cliches that make romantic comedies wonderful, Just Go With It was still packed with enough Adam Sandler-isms that the comedic element overpowered the mushy chick flicky qualities of the film. (Yes, I realize that I made up a couple of words in the previous sentence.) As Danny and Katherine’s ruse kept getting bigger and bigger, the play that was the life of Dr. Danny Maccabee went through plot twists, name changes, character additi0ns and a surprising twist in a middle that only further propels the shenanigans.

As could have been predicted, Sandler’s chemistry with Aniston is both believable and comical. Despite the continuation of Sandler’s lifelong typecasting (see: ‘Sensitive middle-aged frat-boy’ for further details,) he portrays a man truly coming into his own as his relationships with those in his life progress throughout the movie in a way that gives the rather improbably plot an element of realism and relatibility. Despite the fact that her role is progressively pushed to the background, it’s worth noting the effective portrayal of Palmer by Brooklyn Decker. Only 23, she displays a maturity in her role, while still offering the youthful innocence required for the ongoing run of age jokes that Maccabee has to put up with (but seems to take in stride.)

At the end of the day, Just Go With It is still a cutesy love story above all else, but between Adam Sandler’s comedic brilliance, Jennifer Aniston’s grace, and cameo actress Nicole Kidman’s surprise entrance and sexual appeal, there are some great moments to be found in this film!

Well folks, it’s finally happened. I’m forced to write a negative review.

The Roommate is an alleged thriller starring Minka Kelly as Sara Matthews, a small town girl-turned-L.A. college freshman with a passion for fashion, and her new roommate, Rebecca Evans (Leighton Meester,) the loner from a wealthy L.A. family. Rebecca quickly embraces the college lifestyle by making friends, partying and enjoying life, while the quiet and reserved Rebecca quickly gets jealous of the other people vying for Sara’s time and affection. As the two get closer, events start to unfold with the people closer to Sara that force her to question who this roommate of hers really is, and what kind of relationship they actually have.

“Borrowing” nearly every element of the plot of the 1992 thriller Single White Female, The Roommate delivers the same storyline but with no suspense, nor any reason to be scared, or even slightly startled for that matter. Actually, even without having seen the unofficial prequel, everything there was to know about The Roommate was revealed in the trailer, even the attempted plot twists of the movie.

While it held all of the required elements for a teen thriller flick (still maintaining a PG-13 rating) — animal cruelty, a lesbian, a persistent ex-boyfriend, new boyfriend and a new best friend — they were assembled in such a cliched fashion that I wouldn’t have been surprised if viewers of the movie can mouth along the words of the screenplay without having ever seen it.

Minka Kelly and Leighton Meester both own their roles as the small-town girl with big dreams and the troubled rich girl, respectively, but all other characters in their lives are forgettable enough that their relevance even after the fact is questionable, with the majority of the movie seeming like a montage of Leighton Meester close-ups. While what exactly is wrong with Rebecca is never revealed, an off-the-cuff remark by her mother reveals to Sara that she’s supposed to be regularly taking medication. After that point, Sara realizes that she should be nervous about Rebecca, but doesn’t change any of her behavior towards her of course (that would just be too easy!) So, their relationship stays on the tracks until it’s time for the semi-climactic train-wreck three-quarters of the way through.

If you’re looking for a Fatal Attraction-esque thriller with gore, and a unique spin on the mentality of a stalker or even a teen horror movie filled with the homoerotic elements that filled that genre of film in the 80s and 90s, you’ll be disappointed. As Adam Nayman from eyeWeekly says, “No scares, no gore, no boobs, no anything: The Roommate plays like a thriller that’s already edited itself for airplanes.” The only reason to go and see The Roommate is to fill a compulsion where you must see any movie with Leighton Meester in it. Even if that’s the case, I would make an exception and stay home.